My view on women’s day has changed over the years. My views on many things have changed over the years. I have always been a hopeful believer, even under seemingly impossible situations. Though my tolerance limit to bullshit is alarmingly low, when I choose to believe, I become the bull that is so typical of the Taurean in me. I will believe, until the end of time.

A few years ago, I believed in a lot of things. As I get older, I keep realizing very few things in life should be given that kind of value and time. These very few things aside, every now and then, bad things happen and I constantly feel pressurized to compromise on my beliefs, lower my expectations or be more accommodating. In short, it means “To Settle!”

On women’s day, this is something I would really like to talk about, as it is a topic that I am very touchy about. All my life, I have seen women and men settle for things, at some point in life. No, I am not talking about compromises, or sacrifices, or setbacks in life.

I am talking about people making decisions, that they know they do not deserve. People merely accepting what the world tells them is the best they can get, people telling themselves that, maybe, this is what they deserve, people giving up and succumbing to “so-called reality” because they are afraid, SO afraid of uncertainty.

Why?

I had an exceptionally hard working and smart colleague who slogged and slogged in her role as a marketing manager in a company that never recognized her, simply because she was not the type to talk about the results she achieved, and the organization was too busy to notice the results. She had spent six years in this company and on many occasions put her work above her personal life. She was a workaholic who had completely lost sight of the fact that she and her work were both being taken for granted. Loving her work and being great at it was who she was and trust me, she kicked ass at it. The sad thing about this whole bit was, she had forgotten what it is to be valued until we had a conversation about it one day. It struck her that she had settled for this life, even though she deserved a lot better. When I probed her on why the hell was she there, she seemed to realize for the first time that she was indeed settling because, in her mind, she did not even visualize that it could get any better for her. Three months later, she moved jobs, now heads an even bigger team, is a kick-ass mom and an invaluable employee at a place that does not take her granted.

This is a small example of people I know, GOOD people who sometimes do not even realize they are settling. I have seen friends settling in love, settling in marriage, settling in shifting cities, settling in the way they want to live their life. It’s like late 20’s and early 30’s are the ultimate time in life to settle down. Just settle, damn it. Settle for something, even if it doesn’t make your heart scream.

Women, especially women. 🙂

The whole world tells us to settle, sometimes loud enough to hear and many times in a subtler tone. A few years ago, I would have wished many things for women on this day. But today, I just wish no woman ever settles for anything in life, anything lesser than what she deserves.

You see, when we consciously settle for something less, we make up our mind to live with it and we spend our entire lives not even having an outlet to lament about it because we live in a society where feeling weak or vulnerable is looked down upon. We would rather grit up under a false armour of gold than facing our feelings and breaking down. Think about it, what is the alternative to settling. Believing! What is the worst that can happen? We fail again, we get hurt, we feel ashamed and stupid. But is that not worth it? Is it not worth pursuing things that you really feel you deserve, no matter how long it takes or how difficult that road is? Life is tough either ways, so why not tough it out for what you really deserve, than to waddle in mediocrity for a relatively easier path. Why settle, human? Why settle?

Do not settle for a guy who does not sweep you off your feet, Do not settle for anything less than unconditional love, Do not settle for relationships that does not help you grow and be a better person every day, Do not settle for lesser pay than your male colleagues, Do not settle for that other shade of dress because someone in your childhood told you, dark colours are only for fair skinned people, Do not settle for an abusive marriage because you have a child, Do not settle for stereotypes around you, pitting one woman against another, that says you are not like other women, Do not settle for ignorant weak men, who say you cannot talk feminism because of how privileged you are, Do not settle for a culture that practices shame as a weapon, Do not settle for choices in life that make you feel lesser than the shining star you are.

A woman DOES NOT settle. A woman carries love and strength in her stride, armed with grace and vulnerability.

Happy Women’s day to all the strong women and the strong men I have had the pleasure of meeting!