Insta-Credits : @thetravellinganaconda

Much has been spoken about this topic, and much has written about the same. It is a disease millennials have been accused of acquiring purely through their insatiable greed for all things and (experiences) shiny. In other words peer pressure – might be direct or indirect. 

Wikipedia describes FOMO or Fear of missing out, as “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”. This social anxiety is characterized by “a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing”.

In my own words, I would describe Fear of Missing Out as not knowing one’s self. If you knew who you were, and the rationale behind the choices you were making in life that lead you to certain paths and situations, then you would have more conviction and less doubts. In other words, even if you do not who you were, if you have chosen one thing over another, is it such a difficult thing to be present whole heartedly for that very thing? Take a moment and think about it.

Of course, most of us do not know who we are, and that journey is a pretty steep slope in itself. We are barely keeping afloat in the ocean of chaos we have built around ourselves – Careers, relationships, age, expectations. No one has this shit figured out, and if someone says this, I would stop talking to that person, because “God damn it, I don’t need no liars in my life! “.

Since we have established that none of us has any answers to the questions we keep asking ourselves, I believe that is a good start in itself. A wise woman begins with telling herself she knows nothing. When you flip it like that, there is only one direction to go towards, and that is towards the light. There is nowhere else to go but UP UP UP. It’s like when motivational gurus say I hit rock bottom and then everything became better. Of course, it will, you dummy, since there is no way for it to get worse. 

I believe one way of handling The Fear of Missing Out could be to self proclaim the fact that we have got NOTHING figured out, and every choice we make is another beginning, an exploration of sorts which could lead to wonderful things or horrible things, both of which are worth experiencing for that life choice. I will give you an example. For the last two-three years, I have been a firm believer in choosing to consume fewer resources and materials in many ways, and that forces me to live a lifestyle that may not be very similar to people of my age. I had taken a decision to not buy a car, when most of my friends and colleagues had one, simply because they could afford it. I chose not to because primarily I had no interest in automobiles or cars. Secondly, I had access to every premier and economical public transportation there is. Thirdly, I loved partying and most weekends I wouldn’t have been sober enough to drive myself home. On multiple occasions, I have seen people seem shocked that I do not own a car, some say I should definitely have one since I can afford it. Some say, public transportation is a very lowly way of moving about and I am particularly insane to do this every day. Even my own mother resents this act of mine and feels she will be happy for me to drive a car around. She is extremely willing to pay for it as well so that she can tell the world her daughter has a car. 

Sometimes, I wonder if they are all right. If I will be more independent, happier and will save more time if I just buy a car. Then I realize just because it works for them does not mean it has to be work for me.  Also, this is a never ending trap. The world will always find ways to show you there are better choices than the one you make for yourself, and that could be true as well. But, why should we ruin our peace of mind while we know that the choice, after all, is in our hands and it is something we can change anytime, ANYTIME.  This is a small example of choices and how even a small deviation from the seemingly USUAL can trigger a whole lot of questions, and judgements even from your loved ones. In this environment, the FOMO becomes a very real thing that does not let us enjoy the very choice we have made for ourselves. This is the sad part. 🙂

Apply this to everything Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Netflix, your peers, your family, your neighbourhood college kid throws that at you. That dream vacation destination that becomes useless because there is no wifi connection in the most pristine beach in the world. The feeling of inhaling fresh air in the highest motorable pass in the world, that is ruined by the non-availability of cigarettes, the comfort of being home on Newyear’s eve being ruined by the seemingly perfect Instagram post your ex-colleague uploaded after vomiting cheap tequila off his guts.  None of those things you long for is out of reach, none of them is something you cannot set your heart to and pursue, but what about this moment you have chosen to be in? You are never going to find it back, and you must give it every breath of love you have because, at one point, you had your heart set on this very moment. You never know, I might go get a car and I am pretty sure I will value that choice I make for myself. 

I personally feel the world has formed a very shallow impression of us millennials and it is not entirely true. Yes, we grapple with a number of issues that never existed two decades ago, but we also have the courage to talk about it and do something about it. I think FOMO is very real because of the clutter we have surrounded ourselves with. While we may not be able to discard the clutter overnight, we can start by choosing what kind of life we want, and remember why we chose it so that we value it at this moment. 

Go ahead, and feel the joy of missing out! Oh, and I just realized this is my first blog this year. Happy new year and I wish you miss out on many mediocre things and value a few precious things this year!