The more I read and learn about food and its effect on the quality of life we live, the more I realize that all of us have been conditioned in so many ways to consume certain foods in a certain way. We are told milk is our only and best source of calcium, we are told meat is the best source of protein and of course, our generation is harping on the popular slogan of “low carbs” that takes away many of our beloved staple foods like rice, potato, wheat. The truth is none of us really have the time to go deeper into any of these things and understand if these claims are real or do they have a hidden agenda of mindless consumption and mass exploitation by the system.

Maybe the truth is not the truth. Maybe it is just what the system is peddling as the truth. I love eating non-vegetarian food. When we were children, we would really look forward to dinner once or twice a week, when we could smell our grandma’s chicken curry from two streets away. It is pure nostalgia. The aroma of the simply cooked chicken curry with homemade masalas was our favorite meal. So you see, it is not just about the food, it is about the feeling, the love, the togetherness that makes that particular memory so delightful.

Today when I walk into any random non-vegetarian restaurant when people with me order a chicken curry, I get served a readymade gravy with little heart or soul that may as well be the base gravy for almost all the curries in their menu. My first thought is to wonder why on earth did a chicken have to die for this ridiculous tasting gravy. My second thought is to wonder why does this not feel like my grandmother’s chicken curry. I go back and try and recreate the same in my own kitchen, I realize it is halfway there, but the magic is missing.

I dug a little deeper to understand this sense of dissatisfaction I was having while eating certain kinds of food. The answer was clear, consumption for the sake of consumption was clearly leaving me anxious and restless, combined with a deep sense of resentment. You see I was looking for so many things in my food, and every choice I make better be worth it, it better be worth the impact I am making on my environment, the impact I am making towards my health and my body.  That chicken curry be worth it!

I realize I am far from perfect when it comes to eating habits or leaving a minimal footprint on our planet. But I guess all of us have our choices to make, and these choices arise from our belief systems. The more we seek the truth and question things, we see our belief systems can be shaken to their core.

I still miss my grandmother’s chicken curry, which she fed us along with cooked rice turn my turn with her own hands. Maybe that was the secret ingredient. Maybe that’s what I look for in every bowl of mediocre chicken curry I get served. My only point is I see myself gravitating more and more towards food that makes sense. Food is not about consumption, that is not the point of food.

Food is about expression, it is about respecting each ingredient and the value they bring to that dish. I do not think I want to eat any dish that disrespects its ingredients and more so when it is a non-vegetarian dish. This is what I meant by food making sense earlier.

There are so many questions in my mind unanswered. I don’t think I am going to find answers overnight. I definitely do not think I can transform into a healthier lifestyle overnight. But I can start. I can question. I can gain knowledge. I can experiment and then I can make my own choices on how to balance my love for food with my quality of life.

Until then..

A very light, very tasty self-made plant based salad for tonight that does not leave me with any kind of resentment.