Tell me the way you look at the world, and I will tell you what kind of life you are living. We all have different lenses of how we see through things and experiences that happen to us, and it is fascinatingly unique and personal to each one of us. If you are human, you know life is not made for Instagram. Life is made to take you on a journey to the seventh heaven, make you feel things you have never before, and bring you down to your knees when you least expect it.
How you look at life when things go to shit, decides a lot about the quality of life you are going to have, or you are already having. I say this because a lot of things have been going to shit quite aggressively in my life for a last few months, and I feel like I have perspective on this now.
Towards the end of November, I went through an excruciating ache in my head, which I kept thinking was a ‘headache’. It kept me writhing in pain for days before I gave up on self-medication and literally walked myself into the emergency room and plonked my body onto the first empty bed I saw.
Many unsuccessful diagnostic tests, and many night of crying in pain later, a neurologist was brought in who said puncturing my spinal cord to test abnormalities in my Cerebrospinal fluid that runs within it is the only test left to do. And it worked. This painful process led to my diagnosis of Meningitis which alarmed my family, and somewhat confused a deeply sedated me (always drugged at this point).
Meningitis, is an inflammation of the Meninges, the protective layer that runs around the spinal cord and our brain. I have no idea where I caught it or how I caught it, but I did. Fast-forward many painful nights and three very depressing weeks in the hospital, here I am.
As painful as this experience was, I learnt a bunch of things as I lay awake in pain on those nights when the strong IV medicine would refuse to pass through my veins, and keep me awake in agony. I would like to share them.
1/ Nothing is more important than family.
The unconditional love and support I received from my mom, and my family in terms of physically being there next to me 24*7, and not to mention the mental anxiety they had to deal with because of the uncertainty of my diagnosis and how difficult that must have been. You know what! They did not let me feel a thing. It was their strength that made me feel positive and helped me overcome this episode physically and mentally.
2/ The World is a good place.
Some people wake up and doubt everything and everyone. Others prefer to see the good in everything and everyone. I have always been the latter kind. The last few months have proven to me that I am absolutely correct in believing so. The sheer kindness, support, and innumerable help I have received from strangers have been overwhelming. My extended family helped me get opinions from two other neurologists from another city. My dentist helped us connect with another leading Neuro in the city. My ex-boss checked up on me every day. My friends and relatives visited me and sent me loving messages every opportunity they got. It is difficult to explain how much these little things can help someone in physical pain, and living in a hospital.
3/ Remember your workplace is made of humans.
A lot of people speak about corporates and businesses being dirty places that exist to exploit humankind. Yes, there are instances when such things happen. But like I said earlier I have always chosen to look at companies as a living breathing entity full of human beings. When I choose to join a company, I am choosing to spend almost 10 hours every day with a set of humans, and they better be humans I like.
I joined a new company in October, and this hospitalization of four weeks came as a sudden shock to both me and the company. It is one thing for a company to extend support, and give me the break I needed to recover, but another to genuinely care and do everything in their power to let me know they got my back. At every step of the way, the people team in my company and my CEO himself, kept tabs on my health, taking the pressure and guilt away of me disappearing from my new job. My wonderful team supported me and handled our responsibilities in my absence. All of this with so much grace and so much care. When I got back to work, I was overwhelmed with the messages and the updates the team has been receiving on my health – and the genuine concern that stemmed from it all. Remember what I said about choosing the right humans – I really meant it.
4/ Life is too short, and too long at the same time
Yes, I was lucky to recover quickly and without too many complications from a life-threatening disease. It taught me that despite your best-laid plains, things will go to shit if they have to. There is not much you can do about it. I was at my healthiest when I fell sick. Maybe that’s what helped me fight it in the first place.
Here is what I want to say – focus on things that really matter. I know we hear this a lot, but think about this deeply and identify areas in your life that matter most. Your physical health, your mental health, your aging parents, your dog, your partner, your passion projects, meaningful work that you are proud of, and anything else that brings you joy.
That’s my plan.
Wishing all of you a healthy, happy new year.
you’re truly a wonder woman! it takes a lot to look at things in a positive way from what you must have gone through…more power to you Dhivya
Well shared Dear. When I read this it gives good signs of absolute recovery. That’s Great News. Cheers !!!
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